Absolutely!
Dating your spouse is as important as food is for your body and fuel is for the car. Food helps your body grow and stay nourished. Fuel keeps your car running.
When you date your spouse, you will notice that it helps keeps the romance alive, the friendship will continue to grow and the connection will stay strong.
A date night says to your spouse, “You matter, our relationship matters and it is important to make the time to ensure that our relationship continues to grow so we stay connected and in
love.”
After two people meet and feel that they want to pursue an initial attraction, they usually date. Dating is time spent together to see if this person is someone you want to continue spending
time with and getting to know better. It is the natural progression that many relationships follow.
Does the dating need to stop once you fall in love and get married?
No, nor should it, especially after you have children.
Reasons for Dating Your Spouse
1. It is a reminder of why you like your spouse.
2. This is an opportunity for you to spend time with your favorite person in the world.
3.It will give you a chance to talk about something other than the kids, bills, chores, schedules, etc.
4. It is a great time to check in with your spouse. Individuals are always continuing to evolve and grow with their interests, their passions, their wants and needs. Take this time to share this with your spouse so you can continue to grow together.
5. A day or night out is an opportunity to focus on each other without distractions. Make a pact to only answer the phone if it is the babysitter calling.
6. Common activities also can lead to shared feelings and interests. This will increase your connection.
7. Spend your date communicating with each other. Good communication and knowing your partner’s hopes and dreams will keep your marriage on the right track.
8. Being on a date can reignite the passion by feeling connected and increase the excitement at the thought of being together.
9. It can be a night to dress up, feel sexy, feel special, showing the side of you that your spouse initially fell in love with when you started dating.
10. Going on a date is an opportunity for romance to be front and center which is an essential element to your marriage.
11. This is a dedicated time to being flirty, creative and passionate with your spouse while giving him/her your full attention.
12. A date is an opportunity to try something new. This keeps a sense of freshness and adventure in the relationship which prevents feeling bored and being stuck in a routine.
13. Your date should be a day or an evening of relaxing and enjoying.
14. It is good for each of you individually and as a couple.
A Marriage Therapist’s Personal Perspective on Dating Your Spouse
After more than 20 years as a Marriage Therapist in Florida with over two decades of being a wife and almost 20 years as a mother, date nights have been a vital part of our marriage.
We have made each other a priority knowing that we wanted to nurture a connection to last through all the phases of our life.
Last year my husband and I became empty nesters. Yes, we miss our son and look forward to his calls, visits and summer break. Yet, we know that this is his time to soar in the world starting with college life.
So, we are focusing on this phase in our lives and looking at it as a wonderful opportunity.
It is “us” time.
Fortunately, we did nurture our relationship through the years and yet, there were times that
the needs or activities revolving around our child took center stage, pushing our plans to the
side.
We recognized when that was happening and had check ins with each other to see how we were each feeling about how our time was being spent.
Our marriage goal is to create balance in life.
We do this by:
- having quality time for us as a couple
- spending quality time as a family
- making sure we provide our son with a nurturing environment to grow up in
- taking time to each have fulfilling careers that we are passionate about
- run our household and all of the responsibilities that go along with that
- as well as carve out some time for ourselves.
Sometimes easier said than done as there is only so much time in a day, a week, a month. And yet, very crucial to the overall happiness of an individual and the health of the marriage.
Make Dating Your Spouse a Priority in Your Marriage
Romance sometimes takes a backseat to chores, kid’s activities, bills, work and other things.
Yes, that is part of daily life and it all has a place in your life.
But so should date night.
By dating each other on a regular basis, your marriage will thrive and strengthen.
So, make dating your spouse a priority this week. Flirt, laugh, enjoy each other’s company and spend time rekindling that spark. Your marriage will thank you!
Some Important Things to Remember About Dating Your Spouse
1. Great dates can be the ingredient needed for your relationship.
2. Successful marriages are rejuvenated by dating each other.
3. The continuous effort you put into your marriage will pay off in years of happy times and wonderful memories.
How to Start Dating Your Spouse Again
If it has been a while since your last date with your spouse, you can be out of practice.
You might be wondering how do we start again?
Make it simple and here are some tips.
1. Start by having a conversation and ask your spouse out on a date
2. Put it on the calendar and commit to it
3. Choose something that might be a bit lower pressure, like grab a coffee or a smoothie, go for an hour lunch
4. Focus on fun light topics, save the heavy topics for another time
5. Remove distractions, make eye contact, smile, laugh and have fun
It might seem awkward at first, hopefully it will quickly turn enjoyable and relaxing.
Rediscover each other, plan another date, get creative, get romantic and watch the connection grow.
When Dating Your Spouse Feels Impossible
Some couples feel that the foundation of the relationship is so shaky that a date with their spouse would be too uncomfortable and they would prefer to avoid it.
If the thought of dating your spouse does not appeal to you because your relationship is rocky, contact me, I can help.
I Transform Relationships, one relationship at a time and yours can be next.
Your Relationship Expert,
Updated on August 16th, 2025
