The little things in marriage do matter as they make a difference and send a message to your spouse. The message is “you are important to me and I care”. What a powerful message for your spouse to receive! Dr. John Gottman, a world-renowned therapist, says “It’s the small things done often that make the biggest difference”.
My husband likes his coffee cold and I keep brewed coffee in the refrigerator. When I notice the container getting low, I brew some coffee and chill it in the refrigerator. That way whenever he goes for a cup, it is always there. I do not enjoy pumping gas, so my husband regularly checks the gas gauge and when he sees it getting low, he takes it to the station and fills it up. We both appreciate each other’s gestures of love and it does put smiles on our faces.
I reached out to my wonderful family and friends for a contribution to this blog. I asked them to think about the little actions that they do or that their spouse does that says, “I love you”. The response was tremendous and I was thrilled by the participation as well as the love filled responses. They shared some things that they do to show their love in small often ways.
“He wakes me up with a cup of coffee every morning. When he travels for work, I pick him up from the airport with a corny sentiment like big “I love you” balloons and cupcakes with a sign that says. “It is sweet to have you home.” Engaged
“On chilly mornings. My husband goes outside to start the car. He turns on the heater and the heated seat so it is nice and toasty as I leave for work. I like to make sure that he has water by his bedside before he goes to bed each night.” Married 3 years
“My husband offers to pick up breakfast for me every weekend from my favorite place. I don’t always say yes but its such a nice feeling to know that he wants to please me.” Married 3 years
“Since we don’t see each other before work, in the morning, my husband writes me little love notes and puts them where I can find them. I do the laundry and set out my husband’s work clothes for the next day.” Married 4 years
“My husband knows that I love watermelon, so every time he goes to the store he picks up a little container for me. If he sees my car is low on gas, he’ll take it and fill it up. Often, he leaves notes on my notepad, like “today and every day” which is our saying… we love each other today and every day.” Married 6 years
“My husband makes me hot peppermint tea every night. After a long day, I really look forward to it. He hates vegetables, so I wake up early to make him a healthy fruit/veggie smoothie every day. He starts off his day healthy and I end my day happy! We both win!!” Married 7 years
“My husband knows that I have a “thing” about making the beds. We have 2 small boys and morning can be chaos. The house is a wreck from the morning whirlwind, but most days, when I make it back to our room, the bed and all of the decorative pillows are beautifully put together.” Married 11 years
“I put little post it notes with a sweet or funny phrase on it. For Valentine’s Day, I put a post it notes on her car ignition that said, “You turn me on.” Married 11 years
“My hubby loves smoothies so I make sure we always have a freezer full of bananas and when we get low, I replenish. My hubby knows that I have a hard time changing the bed sheets and he knows that I like fresh sheets. He always makes sure that we have fresh sheets on the bed. I write “I love you” messages on the fogged shower glass for him to see the next time the shower is on.” Married 14 years
“I leave little notes in my husband suitcase when he travels letting him know how much I love and miss him when he is gone. I always make him a hot breakfast to start his day off right. My husband writes me sweet poems and leaves them for me to find. He always opens the car door for me and holds doors for me when we are out. He also always makes sure that my oil is changed in my car and that it is filled with gas. I appreciate that very much!!” Married 14 years
“We both make a conscious effort to give each other hot and steamy compliments regularly. The compliments may be accompanied with an occasional butt squeeze. We make each other feel wanted and desired as much as possible.” Married 17 years
“My husband eats apples, carrots and bananas daily. I always make sure we have those in the house. He is always surprising me by making my favorite pancakes. He also makes me my coffee every morning.” Married 18 years
“My husband rubs my back or head because he knows it relaxes me. He fills my water bottle and charges my phone in the morning, probably so he can get in touch with me.” Married 18 years
“With my many food allergies, I sometimes call it a night with a bowl of cereal. I run out of ideas for what I can make myself to eat because no matter what, it is always bland so there are times that I give up. My husband never gives up on me. Last week, after a long day, where I was ready to pour myself a bowl of cereal, he goes to the kitchen to put together an allergy friendly version of pot roast mac and cheese. I’m not easy to cook for because everything has to be made from scratch. He always takes care of me like this and I am grateful.” Married 19 years
“I send little encouraging text messages during the day- “love you” or “hope the meeting went well” that kind of thing. He does the same.” Married 20 years
“I rise at 4:30 every morning to train clients at 6:00. My husband gets up with me, makes our liver cleanse drink, coffee and we do our bible devotional together. It’s very special for the both us. It grounds us and starts our day. I love that he does this for us.” Married 26 years
“Even though I am retired and I don’t have to get up at 5am, I get up and make my husband breakfast before he goes to work. He washes my car by hand when he sees that it is dirty.” Married 30 years
“I always save the last bite of my burger or sandwich for my husband. He is a foodie and I think he looks forward to savoring that last bite every time. My husband knows that I love to decorate for the holidays and many years ago he put a solar propelled bobble head on the dash board of my car. He switches them out for every holiday or season. I never know when a new one will appear.” Married 31 years
“Although my husband goes to bed after I do, he still comes in every night and tucks me in with a kiss and says good night. I love that. One thing I do for him is that throughout the night I check to make sure he is covered and I pull his covers up if he is not because I know he gets cold. I also kiss him goodbye in the morning when I go to work even if he is still sleeping. He feels it!” Married 35 years
“My husband makes me dinner every night. He listens attentively to my after-work discussions and provides supportive advice and guidance. We now live in the frozen tundra and he sweetly makes sure I’m dressed warmly before I leave the house. Oh, and he puts gas in my car and will drive me to work when the snowbanks are too high. Love is love!” Married 46 years
“Years ago, my husband asked me what fond memory I had of my dad. It was of my dad making waffles every Sunday morning. That Christmas he bought me a waffle iron and now every weekend he makes me waffles. My husband loves M&Ms so I always make sure he has some in his special container.” Married 46 years
“My husband gets up first and makes coffee for both of us. If I get up first he makes the bed so I don’t need to. I am very blessed.” Married 51 years
“We NEVER go to bed without saying, “I love you!” I always set the coffee pot to start for in the morning as he gets up much earlier then me. He is always asking, if I want or need anything. We never leave the house without a kiss and saying, “be careful”. I cannot imagine being without him.” Married 57 years
I want to thank all of the wonderful people that replied to my request and shared with my readers. Your “tips of love” are amazing! Keep doing the little things for your spouse as they are making a big difference in your marriage.
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Your Relationship Expert,
Michelle