There is a famous line that most of us remember from the Wizard of Oz. It is “lions, tigers and bears, oh my”. This line is expressing the upcoming potential dangers on the journey to see the wizard.

I relate it to a newer saying, “Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, oh my”. My new quote is expressing the potential dangers of a skewed visual of marriage by what we see posted on social media.

Marriages in the World of Fantasy

Keep in mind, you don’t really know what is behind closed doors. And that is ok. You don’t need to know. But if you are comparing your relationship by what you see on social media, you might come up short and not feel happy.

Years ago, soap operas were really popular and in abundance.  The big networks, ABC, CBS and NBC filled their day time slots with them. Daytime television was not the only place soap opera style shows were found.  There were also many nighttime shows following the same soap opera script, just adding a little more glitz.

So, you had a lot of shows showing the fantasy world of marriage. Maybe making it a bit more glamorous than most people’s daily life. But the difference is we knew that was television and we were seeing a script with actors.

Now we have Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. The advancement of technology with these types of apps, allows us to see other people’s lives up close and much more personal than we did years ago.

Social Media’s Role in Marriage

Stop comparing!

Social media only shows you what the person sharing wants to share. Not many people share pictures of their messy house, their kitchen when they are trying to cook and care for the kids at the same time, a fight with their spouse, etcetera.

You get the picture.

People post vacations, kid’s honor roll, date night with their spouse when they are both dressed up, looking great and smiling. Most of us enjoy scrolling through social media, stopping to read the caption, maybe watch a video and like the post.

Yes, this is reality. But it is not the whole picture, so don’t compare your marriage to someone else’s.

Evaluate Your Marriage

Evaluate your marriage on the answers to these questions.

How do you and your spouse communicate? How do the two of you handle conflicts? Are you friends? Are you lovers? Do you feel that you work together as a team for the relationship, the family, the house? Are you happy? Can you see yourself in this relationship for the next 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years?

That is how you should look at your relationship. Not by the pictures posted by others but by how you feel about your marriage.

Keep posting the happy pictures, keep scrolling to see pictures of your family and friends. But don’t compare your reality of marriage to what you see on social media.

Marriages in the World of Reality

Watching television, as well scrolling through social media are ways to escape your daily life for a few minutes. Awesome! Self-care is important and these are valuable tools.

But don’t compare your life to the couples you watch on tv or the smiling faces that are posted on social media, to the reality of your marriage. Judge it by how you feel. Judge it by your priorities. Figure out what your definition of a realistic marriage is and make sure your marriage meets your expectations, wants and desires.

If your marriage does not match your definition of what you picture for your life, then contact me. I have been helping couples for almost two decades with all of their relationship struggles.

I Transform Relationships, one relationship at a time and yours could be next.

Your Relationship Expert,

Michelle Scharlop