How can you make your marriage stronger? Simply put, you can make your marriage stronger and change the energy by showing more appreciation to your spouse. Gratitude and appreciation go a long way in creating a positive atmosphere in your marriage and home. Research has shown that when spouses show appreciation for each other, they are more satisfied with the relationship and feel closer to one another. So, how do you get started? You can start with the ten tips to show appreciation in your marriage.

Ten Tips to Show Appreciation in Your Marriage

  1. Say “thank you” often and every day. Some examples are, if your spouse holds the door for you, cooks dinner, does the laundry, takes out the garbage, picks up the kids, etc..  Big or small, saying thank you is easy and it makes a difference.
  2. It is important to also find other ways to creatively say “thank you”. Some ideas are, I appreciate it when…, I am grateful when…, It is a big help to me when…, I love it when…,.
  3. Praise and thank your spouse in private as well as public. It is important for your spouse to feel you are proud of them in all areas of life.
  4. Look for the positive thing to appreciate even in the middle of a negative situation. For example, if your car gets a flat tire but your spouse fixes it. Try to focus on the positive that your spouse was able to fix the tire so you could continue on your journey.
  5. Be there when your spouse needs you. You can show your spouse how much he/she means to you and that you appreciate your spouse by being there and supporting your spouse whenever they need it.
  6. Write your spouse a letter. In this letter write about all of the things your spouse does right. All of the things that you appreciate. When your spouse reads this letter, they will smile and feel appreciated.
  7. Be punctual when going somewhere. Being on time shows your spouse that their time is important and you don’t want to waste it.
  8. Make a date with your spouse. It shows that you are thinking about your spouse and you want to do something special. It also gives both of you something to look forward to and a chance to reconnect.
  9. Reminisce about the beginning of your relationship. Talk about the things that first attracted you to your spouse. As your conversation continues, focus on the appreciation you felt at the beginning of the relationship. During this time, stay focused on each other and enjoy the evening.
  10. Try this appreciation/connection activity. Have an appreciation jar. Get two different colored pieces of paper so you each have your own color. Every day write down something you appreciate about your spouse. Add why you appreciate it and a specific example. At the end of the week, pick a time that you and your spouse can sit, relax and connect by emptying and reading the papers from the jar.

By changing your attitude and looking for positives, you are going to change the atmosphere in your marriage.  As Dr. John Gottman’s research has found, relationships that stay together have a ratio of 5 to 1. That means having five times as many positives as negative things. If you do something negative to hurt your partners feelings, you need to make up for it with five positive things. Utilizing the ten tips of appreciation is a great step towards more positive interactions between you and your spouse.

If you feel that the tips of appreciation are not enough to change the negative atmosphere of your marriage into a positive one, then call me 954-245-9608Let’s work together to change the climate of your relationship to one of gratitude and appreciation.

Your Relationship Expert,