It is March 2021, one year after the pandemic entered our lives. It has been a year that we are all going to remember. A year that most likely effected all of us in some way. A year that things changed in ways we never would have imagined. As this year of changes happened, what was happening in your marriage?
Did the pandemic have an effect on your marriage? Did your relationship barely survive or did it thrive? This unpreceded year taught us many things about ourselves, our spouse, our kids, our family, our friends, our community and more. What is your take away about your marriage?
What has the Pandemic Taught You as a Couple?
When we went on lockdown and many people started working from home, schooling their kids in the home and not getting out we found ourselves spending more time then ever with our spouse. We also learned the answers to the following questions. As you read them, answer them to yourself. It will help you recognize if your marriage barely survived or if it thrived.
- Did you enjoy spending time as a couple?
- How do you handle conflict as a couple?
- How did you handle loss and changes as a couple?
- Did you pivot together as partners or did you each find yourself figuring things out on your own?
- Did you grow together and feel connected or did disconnection grow and feeling of living like roommates surfaced?
- Did you notice the positive qualities of your spouse or did the negative qualities appear and amplify?
- Did you agree on safety versus risk and if you didn’t were you able to navigate the conversation where you each felt heard, understood and respected?
Did your answers make you feel hopeful or give you a sense of hopelessness about your marriage? Some marriages couldn’t survive and steps toward divorce were taken. If your marriage is still hanging on, but merely surviving, what tips could you take away from a couple who is thriving?
What Could You Do If You Want to Move from Survive to Thrive?
- Create a safe and secure atmosphere for you and your spouse.
- Be present by maintaining eye contact and by putting down the phone.
- Remember that mutual respect, friendship, trust and commitment are vital.
- Make each other a priority and show your spouse you care in a way that matters to them.
- Be mindful that the pandemic brought on many unexpected changes, losses and concerns that were not there before.
- Show your spouse that you can be patient with their feelings as pandemic life put many of us on an emotional rollercoaster.
- Have conversations with empathy, understanding and validation.
- Be curious, ask questions, find out what interests your spouse, what their concerns are and what they are feeling.
- Consider couples counseling as the valuable tools you can learn together in counseling can make changes to help you reconnect.
Does Your Marriage Need My Help?
If your marriage is merely surviving but you wish it was thriving, I can help. I specialize in working with couples who want to deepen their communication, rebuild their friendship, rediscover intimacy and handle conflicts in a healthy way. If you feel that my specialties would be helpful to your marriage, ask yourself…
- Are you willing to speak open and honestly about what you are feeling?
- How motivated are each of you to make the changes?
- How committed are each of you to do the “work” required so your marriage can thrive?
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 15 years’ experience, working with me can make the difference. This has been a difficult year for many. Don’t let the year of the pandemic be the end of your marriage. Give your marriage the gift of hope by contacting me. Let’s work together to get you back on track. I spend my days transforming relationships, one relationship at a time. If you are ready and committed to the marriage, I can take you from surviving to thriving.
Your Relationship Expert,